To Someone I Used to Know

School will be starting next week and so I decided to clean up my files when I saw this letter I made...uhm.. a year ago? or two years ago? I can't exactly remember when. I smiled at myself when I read the letter. I'm pretty sure when I was writing it, I wasn't smiling at all. Funny how time fly fast. Funny how almost two years ago, I was in a position wherein I never thought I'll be able to handle. It was then that I almost lost my self-esteem. It was then that I ended feeling so bad for myself. It was then that I felt I was never good enough. Looking back, I know I'm in a much much better place right now. Not only because I was finally able to move on from something that almost changed me for the worse, but because I now know what is important for me.

I'm posting this now not because I wanted to relieve the pain I felt before but because I'm more than glad to see that I could muster to smile at myself while reading this. I'm happy I was able to forgive, forget and more importantly, to love again... Maybe it's really love, not time, that heals all wounds.

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To Someone I Used to Know,

I don’t know if you ever think of me or if you still know me, but I just want to write this letter to you. I’ve given you letters in the past – the last was the longest one I’ve written for you (and the saddest one I guess). I don’t know what made me write a letter for you again. It’s just that when I was cleaning up my room, I unearthed something you gave me before. I wanted to throw it, nonetheless I chose to bury it instead. I know there’s a bigger possibility that you won’t be able to read this, but there’s also a little chance that you might. So what do I really want to say?

September. How time flies right? It’s been a year. A year ago when we are ‘almost dating’. Almost. Or barely. Whatever it is. I guess it’s just my point of view. I don’t know yours. Maybe I’m just too attached or maybe I was just hopeful then. Maybe I was just being assuming or maybe I’m just inlove. No. It’s not maybe. I’m sure I WAS. Can you blame me for that? 

Do you know the line – don’t make someone fall for you if you don’t intend to catch them? Yes. You made me fall. And yes, I was extremely hurt because that’s just it – you just made me fall.  You are the one who’s always telling me to take things slow because you are unsure of your feelings then. Dear, if you are unsure of it, you shouldn’t have told me that in the first place. You just gave me false hopes. Well, maybe you are not the only one to blame. I had my share of mistakes too. 

Nevertheless, thank you for all the lessons that I learned the hard (and painful way). Because of you, I became wiser and stronger. What happened between us made me realize to choose wisely on the kind of guy I’ll love the next time around – someone who knows my worth. 

I'm not wishing you ill. In fact, I still wish the best for you. We'll be friends when I can finally laugh at how insanely unreasonable you are and when I can I say that I've really moved on. 

As I write this letter to you, I’m being bittersweet. It’s been a year.

See you (really) sooooooooon Boracay!

Wohooooooo! I'll see you again in less than 48 hours Boracay (this time in my more fatty but happy self hahahaha! ). I'm sooo sooo not bikini ready. But oh well. Hahaha! #egzzzooooooyyyted

Happy Teddybearsary!

Today marks my anniversary with my bed partner... Beddy Bear! This was given to me by nobody else but my boyfie which was then my friend when he gave me that "souvenir". And because I know I'll be missing him (he's out for a business trip again for a week), I decided to post this. I know I've been blogging about the lucky guy *wink wink pasalubong..ehem* more often than necessary. Hahaha! It's just that...I'm still in a love bubble for almost 11 months..and counting! Wohooooo! 

Looking back, I never really thought that I'd be having Marion as my boyfriend. We are complete opposites!! And besides he's soooooo maldito when I first met him at Toastmasters. I exactly remember that day... he was a guest at our club and he was seated next to me. We at TM were trained to be nice to our guests so I struck a conversation with him which goes like this:

Me: Hi! Taga-san ka? *with matching wide smile*

Marion: Taga Bulacan *Marion looks away* *silence* *insert sounds of kuliglig here*

My thought bubble: Okay suplado. bahala ka dyan. Hahahaha!

That was it. Diba???? Suplado lang???? Hmp. Hahaha! I never talked to him after that incident. And as a retaliation, I called him to deliver an impromptu speech. Ha! Suplado ka ah, buti na lang ako ang Table Topics Master. Lagot ka ngayon. Wahahaha! 

But after that he became nicer to me. Siya na ang laging nauunang makipagusap! Hahaha! In fact, we even became close friends. 

May last year when out of the blue he sent me a text message inviting me out for a date. Yeah that was our first "real" date. Sure, we'd go out before but with our clubmates. Our first real date wasn't really a "normal" date. I cried to him while we we're hanging out at Kopi Roti. Hahaha! Asked him why. That day, I also realized he will be a great friend.

It was during our first "real" date when he gave me Beddy Bear. I remember how he gave me that bear. We were inside a mall when all of a sudden he stopped and said, "May nakita akong bilihan ng souvenir. Tara bilan kita". Puzzled, I asked "Ha? Souvenir?? Anong souvenir??" So he brought me inside a teddy bear store and asked me to pick one. 

When asked why he did that, he said "Wala lang. Iyakin ka kasi eh. Para may ma-hug ka." Awwwwwwwww.  I knew right then and there that he will be for keeps. :)

#memories

Araw ng Kagitingan

I need a break from my paper-crunching, intense macroeconomic studying. (I'm being bitter for not being able to join my officemates in our "summer outing"). Hahaha bawal pala maging bitter so I'm here in the room and it's 5am and as early as 5am, andami ko na natutunan. And my paper is now already 5-pages long so 30 pages to go. Wohoooo! Ang saya pala mag-aral. Napakagiting ko talaga!!!! Harhar.

I browsed my phone and read the text messages.

There's one from Jadd which read "tsktsk" after I sent him my reply that I won't be able to join. There's one from my boss. It says "Ok sayang". Waaaah sayang nga.

Huhuhu

The other day I told Marion that I feel really sad because I have already anticipated that I won't be able to join my officemates. It's our finals week this week and next week. After that I'm free. Ang taaaagaaaaal matapos. I deserve a loooooong break after this. I told Marion, "Baby. Nalulungkot ako. Ang ganda ng pupuntahan nila tapos ako lang di makakasama. Shocks. Bakit ba kasi ko nag-aral??! Ano bang kalokohan tong pinasok ko?!?!" To which he replied,  "Oonga baby. Ewan ko ba sayo. Wahahaha" *such an evil evil evil laugh* Hahaha! Bwisit. Very supportive boyfriend. Hahaha!

The things I give up, gave up and will be giving up for acads.

Anyway, enough of the ranting. Masaya magaral kesa magbeach *repeat to self one million times*

Happy Friday!

Me: San ka na baby?

Marion: Nasa puso mo baby. Hay...grabe yung Prius dala namin ngayon. *nagyayabang mode na naman sya haha*

Me: Ahhh. Akalain mo yun, nagkasya ka sa puso ko. At mas akalain mo yun. Ganun pala kagaan yung Prius para madala nyo??? Ano hihirit ka pa baby? Haha

Marion: Ayoko na baby. Nastress na ko sa sinabi mo.

Me: wahahaha hihirit ka pa kasi eh. Ang aga aga.

Marion: hahahaha! bestfriend nga talaga kita baby. ibang klase kulitan natin.

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Me: Hay nakooo. Tutulugan mo na naman ako.

Marion: Baby. Two things lang kelangan ko para di ako ma-dyahe sa araw-araw -- tulog at pagkain.

Me: What?!?!??!?! Anong madyahe??? Mahiya???

Marion: Ay yun ba ibig sabihin nun baby? I'm so sorry. Lam mo naman.. yung boyfriend mo Fil-am...

Me: wahahaha! hay nako. ewan ko sayo baby. Nadyadyahe na ko sayo. 

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Me: *excited tone* Grabe baby alam mo ba kahapon sa MRT punong puno yung platform. As in hindi na nga makababa yung mga tao sa escalator kasi puno na eh. wala na madaanan.
Marion: Ha? baby? pano yun eh di ba umaandar naman yung escalator?
Me: ......
Me: hahaha oonga no. I mean yung hagdanan pala. di na makababa sa hagdanan yung mga tao.
Marion: wahahaha baby. naimagine ko kasi tumatalon na yung mga tao pababa sa escalator.
Me: Hagdanan nga!!! hahaha

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Me: *texts Marion before I sleep* Baby! masasabi mo bang mas masahol pa ko sa malansang isda kung mas mahal pa kita kesa sa sarili nating wika?
Marion: rest well baby! May sakit ka pa nga talaga. kelangan mo pa ng pahinga.
Me: Bwisit. Hahaha!

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Me: Baby!!! Taga-FEU ka ba?
Marion: Huh? Yes baby. Why?
Me: wala lang..TAMARAW kasing mahalin ka. wahahaha!

Happiness will always be a choice

I was talking with a close friend today. She is going through a very hard time because of...what else? Love. And just because I'm in a happy-I'm-in-love phase and everything-I-see-are-hearts-and-roses mode, doesn't mean I don't feel for her. In fact, I feel for her so much that I want to kick the the guy's butt, face, body...everything. But of course I can't do that. For now, all i can do is be a good friend just like what she did when I was in the same predicament before.

Today, I browsed thru my journal entries last year. And yeah, it was exactly a year ago when I felt really really really devastated. And devastated is an understatement. Losing a bestfriend and a loved one at the same time? Not so nice, right?

I cried buckets before. I tried my best to be okay. I tried hard. I tried my best to forget. I tried everything to be happy. But I failed.
These were the entries I made during those trying times. And these serve as a reminder that I was once unhappy.

this.
this.
this.
this.
this.
this.
this.
this.
this.
this.
this.

If I had been less lazy writing before, I would have written more than that.
But after crying buckets of tears, after trying my best to be okay, after trying really really hard, I have finally decided to be happy. It's time.

Today, I have already forgotten what happened. But what I won't forget are the lessons.

Happiness will always be a choice. So true.
More than happy now. :D

Random Thoughts for February

Hey it's March but I want to talk about February!!!

So finally I had the time to write about it. February was such an exhausting month. I'm not complaining. I'm not. I'm not. Hahaha! It's fun to be busy. Just now, I don't have anything to do except... to sleep, eat, sleep again, upload pictures, sleep, eat. Oh noooo. It dawned to me I'm so bum today and I'm not used to it.

But I'm thankful.

February was such a BUSY month. When I say busy, it's an understatement. And since I don't have any right word to describe it... I'll just use the word busy. Hahaha!

First week of Feb: review for midterm examS
Second week of Feb: Business Law Midterms..supposedly. But it was moved to third week because our midterms coincided with Valentines Day   we didn't finish discussing our topics in the syllabus. Prolonged agony. Pffft.
Third week of Feb: Financial Accounting Exam on Monday. Business Economics case presentation on Tuesday. So you could just imagine how bangag I am. Hay, still thankful for the 2 hours of sleep and sick leave privileges. Hahaha!
Fourth week of Feb: Business Economics exam on Tuesday. Business Law exam on Thursday.

That was it! Huwaaaat?!?!?! Ang busy ko sa pag-aaral. Hahaha! I just have to write this down so I'll remember not to take 3 subjects in one term again. Never again. Aside from the fact that I'm always stressed/pressured/grumpy/harassed, I barely have time for myself. By that, I mean I don't have exercise anymoooore. Huhu stress eating. I gained x pounds. Akalain mo 110 pounds na ko. Noooooooooooooooo. Before, even if I eat 8 times a day, I don't even reach 100 pounds. What-is-happening-now?!?! Nakakataba ata mag-aral. Hahahaha!

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One proof that I'm gaining weight: A week before our company's Leaders' Night, I borrowed a dress from a friend. I borrowed because one, I really don't have time to go to a mall and buy one. Second, nagtitipid ako!!! Hahahaha kuripot mode on. I realized sayang ang mga nabibili kong cocktail dresses. Di na siya nagkakasya sakin. Minsan ko lang sya nasusuot. The pink and white dress I wore for my first and second Leaders' Night? I can't even remember wearing them again. So basically I just wore them once and sayaaaaannggg. I mean there's no 'appropriate' occasion where I can wear those dresses. Alangan naman sa date namin ni Marion mag ganun ako diba?!?! Hahaha! Or pwede rin.

So back to my point, I borrowed a dress from my friend (fyi: we are of the same body built so the dress should fit me) So I tried out the dress I borrowed and voila! Mygaaawd ayaw masara ng zipper. I had to ask help from my tita just to close the zipper. Hahaha! While we were doing that, my mom went to my room and said "Ano ba yan Tricia?! Sisirain mo yung damit ng kaibigan mo. Bumili ka na nga. Ayan kasi kala mo ang payat payat mo pa. Ang takaw takaw mo kasi ayan tuloy. Tumataba ka na." Wow. Ang sakit mehn... Hahahaha ang taba ko na ba?!?!?! Hindi naman ako mataba ehhhh. Hindi lang ako payat na. Hay.

So now I'm trying my best not to eat rice. Hahaha and trying to eat salad instead of burgers and fries. But last night, when boyfie and I went to Banapple, this is what happened:

while waiting...
Marion: Baby oh. Eto na menu. Pili ka na ng gusto mo. Treat ko...
Me: Wow wow wow. treat mo? Dahil diyan lulubusin ko na. Hahaha! Pero baby diet ako ehh. Hay.
Marion: Diet ka?? Wushu. Wag ka na magpanggap. Go order ka na.
Me: Okay. Eto na lang sakin. Caesar salad. Huhu.
Marion: Sure?? sure ka?? Yan lang??
Me: yeah. Mukha naman masarap eh. Saka dinner naman so okay lang na onti lang kainin ko.
Marion: Okay sige.
Me: *still looking at the menu* kaya lang baby parang ang sarap din ng tapa..saka netong longganisa oh. Ano kaya mas masarap? tapa or longganisa? hmmm.waaah ayaw ko magkanin. Sige pasta na lang kaya. di naman nakakataba ang pasta diba?
Marion: Carbs din yun eh.
Me: Ayyy ganun. Sige salad na nga lang..
Marion: Wag ka na magpanggap. Order ka naaaa.
Me: Hmmmm. No okay na ko sa salad.
Marion: Okay baby. Sige advance order ka na para pagupo natin may food na tayo.
Me: Okay baby. Tapa na lang pala ko.

Hahahaha diet. Fail.

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My Leaders' Night pictures.
Pink dress - my first Leaders' Night
White dress - my second Leaders' Night
Red dress - my third (and hopefully last. joke! hahaha well it's half-meant) Leaders' Night.

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February is love month. And finally I have a v-date this year!!! Well... for our date? It was such a bad timing that I had a class on that day so my date started really really really late. Plus add the very very very good (I am being sarcastic) service of Globe which pissed the both of us. We had dinner at 11pm! For the details, ask him. Hehehe! It was such a memorable night. I love you baby love. You never fail to surprise me. Sige na nga, I agree with you when you said "Syempre ang bida nagpapatalo talaga sa una". Hoping to spend more Valentines with you.

He bought a cake for my family! Such a sweetie 

                            

He made up for our quick date after his contest and after my company event. He went out of his way - literally and figuratively. Thank you baby!!! Bawing bawi na. *wink*

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These are the sabaw usapan that made me (in)sane:

Me: Baby ang dali ng exam namin sa Law!!!!! Ang bait ng prof ko grabe!!!!
Marion: Wow talaga. Ano pinagawa ng prof mo baby?
Me: Multiple choice saka true or false. Grabe ang dali ng exam!
Marion: Ah that's good baby. Bata pa talaga prof mo.
Me: Ha? Bakit ganun ba yun pag bata? Madali magpa-exam? onga bata pa siya.. Pero ang pretty ng prof ko no baby?
Marion: Di pa masyadong lawyer-ish approach pag bata pa. Mas pretty ka baby.
Me: Yehesss. Thanks baby. Sige..san mo gusto kita ilibre ng dinner tom?
Marion: Hahahahah. Kahit yoshinoya lang baby.

*Bastoooooooos!!!!! hahahaha! rawr

I was about to write another sabaw usapan we had but I decided not to. Nakakahiya ako at ayoko na i-document ang kasabawan ko. Hahaha! I don't want to even remember it! I cringe just thinking about it. I told Marion about it.

Me: *The story* Ayun baby. Tama naman ako diba? diba?
Marion: Haaaa? san mo nakuha yun??? mali ka baby.
Me: ehhhh. sinearch ko pa nga sa google after ng exam ko eh. dun yun eh.
Marion: Oh sige search natin ngayon.

After searching...
Me: shoooooooocks baby. Nakakahiyaaaaaa. Sabihin ng prof ko san ko nakuha yung sagot na yuuuuun.
Marion: *trying his best not to laugh* okay lang yan baby. Tawag dun... T...
Me: T?????????
Marion: Tao lang. Hahahaha!
Me: *sad and exhausted face* Ehhh baby.. General knowledge ba yun? dapat ba alam ko yun??
Marion: Hmmm.. di naman. okay lang yun baby. *serious face*
Me: Talaga? Okay lang?
Marion: Hay.. ewan ko ba baby. UP graduate ka naman. Wahahahahahhaha!
Me: Bastos kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Hahaha! sama moooooooooo.
Marion: Baby magdrop ka na. Feeling ko habang chinecheckan ng prof mo yung exam mo, pinagtatawanan ka niya.

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My friend Iyah asked me to host a surprise party for her boyfriend Ted. Sabi niya since I'm a Toastmaster, dapat kayang kaya ko yun. Being a good friend, I obliged even though that would mean less time to eat (hahahaha ang hirap kaya maging host...di ka makakakain ng mabuti). Before the party, my co-host Neri said: Oy Patty. Nabalitaan ko kay Iyah kung pano kayo nagkakilala ng boyfriend mo ah.

Me: Ahh hahaha oonga ah.
Neri: Ayos ka ah.Akalain mo nagganun ka pala.
Iya: Onga ayos yan si Patty eh. Neri! Kaw din try mo rin! Hahaha! Dun nahanap ni Patty soulmate nya eh. Wahaha! Ngayon natin masusubukan kung talagang may natutunan yan si Patty sa speech org nya.
Me: wahahaha! Shocks mabubuking ako na wala ko natutunan. hahahaha mga loko kayo.

Hahaha and look at our fb conversation:

Hahahaha! Thanks for the support friends.

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Speaking of, my boyfie joined the District contest two weeks ago. I'm sooooo proud of him. Supposedly, I won't be able to watch him live. The day of the contest coincides with our company event. Even though the event will start at 5pm, I have to do girly stuff pa - hair and make-up for that matter. Tsss. Hassle maging girl pag may okasyon. Hahaha I can't watch him since the contest will start at 2pm. But since I can't bear the fact that I won't be able to support him, I tried my best to be there for him. Nung ngang friend ko pa lang siya last year, nanood ako ng contest nya..ngayon pa kaya na boyfriend ko sya?! Naks. Hahaha gumaganon.

Anyway, so I decided to surprise him. He didn't know I'll drop by Ortigas just to watch him. I had my hair and make-up done as early as 12 noon so I can go to Ortigas then straight to Alabang for our company event. Hahaha! I super love his reaction when he saw me. Parang nakakita ng multo?! Hahaha! Our clubmates told me "Tignan mo reaction ni Marion,Patty. Di niya talaga inexpect na manonood ka. Haha!" 

I left as soon as he's done with his 3-minute speech.

Alie texted me, "Nainspire si Marion, Patty. For sure mananalo sya."

And he did it! He won! *proud gf* Hahaha!

the only proof that I watched. Andun sya sa likod oh. Haha!

Okay this is it for now. Ang haba na ng sinulat ko. So much for being bored.