To Someone I Used to Know

School will be starting next week and so I decided to clean up my files when I saw this letter I made...uhm.. a year ago? or two years ago? I can't exactly remember when. I smiled at myself when I read the letter. I'm pretty sure when I was writing it, I wasn't smiling at all. Funny how time fly fast. Funny how almost two years ago, I was in a position wherein I never thought I'll be able to handle. It was then that I almost lost my self-esteem. It was then that I ended feeling so bad for myself. It was then that I felt I was never good enough. Looking back, I know I'm in a much much better place right now. Not only because I was finally able to move on from something that almost changed me for the worse, but because I now know what is important for me.

I'm posting this now not because I wanted to relieve the pain I felt before but because I'm more than glad to see that I could muster to smile at myself while reading this. I'm happy I was able to forgive, forget and more importantly, to love again... Maybe it's really love, not time, that heals all wounds.

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To Someone I Used to Know,

I don’t know if you ever think of me or if you still know me, but I just want to write this letter to you. I’ve given you letters in the past – the last was the longest one I’ve written for you (and the saddest one I guess). I don’t know what made me write a letter for you again. It’s just that when I was cleaning up my room, I unearthed something you gave me before. I wanted to throw it, nonetheless I chose to bury it instead. I know there’s a bigger possibility that you won’t be able to read this, but there’s also a little chance that you might. So what do I really want to say?

September. How time flies right? It’s been a year. A year ago when we are ‘almost dating’. Almost. Or barely. Whatever it is. I guess it’s just my point of view. I don’t know yours. Maybe I’m just too attached or maybe I was just hopeful then. Maybe I was just being assuming or maybe I’m just inlove. No. It’s not maybe. I’m sure I WAS. Can you blame me for that? 

Do you know the line – don’t make someone fall for you if you don’t intend to catch them? Yes. You made me fall. And yes, I was extremely hurt because that’s just it – you just made me fall.  You are the one who’s always telling me to take things slow because you are unsure of your feelings then. Dear, if you are unsure of it, you shouldn’t have told me that in the first place. You just gave me false hopes. Well, maybe you are not the only one to blame. I had my share of mistakes too. 

Nevertheless, thank you for all the lessons that I learned the hard (and painful way). Because of you, I became wiser and stronger. What happened between us made me realize to choose wisely on the kind of guy I’ll love the next time around – someone who knows my worth. 

I'm not wishing you ill. In fact, I still wish the best for you. We'll be friends when I can finally laugh at how insanely unreasonable you are and when I can I say that I've really moved on. 

As I write this letter to you, I’m being bittersweet. It’s been a year.