Let me tell you a story when I was about an incoming
freshman college. I can still vividly remember that day. I was so happy my
parents allowed me to enroll at my dream school. I won’t say the name of the
school for security purposes. So here’s how it goes...
I was waiting in line
looking at the marvelous buildings around me, the large soccer field, when two
guys infront of me caught my attention. They were good looking and macho – you
know those typical guys who I only see in commercials and magazines. They were
talking about how the line for enrollment is taking too long
and their conversation goes like this:
Guy 1: It’s so matagal the pila here pare ne?
Guy2: Yeah and it’s like already lunch time na.
And so this is how they speak here. I mused. It’s like
parang they are all rich ha, my thought bubble goes. I was just eavesdropping
on their conversation when the guy turned to me.
“Hi Miss, what time is it?”
I was startled. Oh.my.gash. They’re talking to me. These two
angels infront of me are looking at me waiting for me to answer the billion
dollar question – what. time. is. it. The world turned into slow motion. The
flirty version of myself flashed my close up smile, tucked my hair into my ear,
looked at my watch and said : “It’s like parang 11 am na” The guy said “Thanks. It’s so matagal the line no? By the
way I’m Dan and this is my friend Mark and you are?”
“I’m Patricia. But you can kul me Pat”. Uh-oh. What did I
just say? My brain gone wild the moment I said that. Kul? Like you know...cool,
I meant call. The one word ruined the perfect moment. I wanted the ground to
swallow me alive. I turned not just red but maroon out of embarrassment. I
excused myself and turned my back from them and started walking. The guy called
out to me and said “Hey Pat. You have putik on your legs”. I turned around to
look and said “Oh this one? It’s called birthmark. You know balat. Thanks anyway so if you may
excuse me. I need to go to the restroom.” I started walking again and surprisingly, my flat-footedness striked at the most inappropriate time. I don't know what happened to my ankle but I tripped. Can I get any luckier than that?! Haaaay.
Flaws. Imperfections. Blemishes. Weaknesses. Deficiencies. Defect. Whatever you call it. It sounded so negative. That event in my life made me realize my imperfections - I have mishaps in my sentences, I'm sporting a weird spot on my legs, I'm flat-footed... in short, I AM SO IMPERFECT. You see, for me, it was an almost perfect moment but my imperfections got into the way.
According to Websters dictionary, flaw is a weakness that invalidates. I define it as something that I don't want but I can't help it I have it. Everybody has their own set of imperfections. There are little and big things about each and everyone of us that could easily become perceived a "flaw" and if we allow ourselves to think that it is actually one, sure enough we'll live a life trying to mask it. Whether it's physical, emotional, social or even spiritual, there's always something that would always be a cause of insecurity. The challenge for us is to adapt a more positive approach towards it, to wear it proud instead of hiding it. Nobody is perfect so why fuss about our own imperfections. One thing that I've learned in my life is to be always grateful of who I am. But that doesn't mean that I have to be complacent. That's the good thing about flaws and imperfections, there's always a room for improvement.
I for example, just like anyone of you, have some shares of physical and character flaws that I can't count on my fingers. There are flaws that I cannot anymore change and there are some more that I can. I'm sometimes lazy, stubborn, fickle, impatient and annoying. The challenge for me is to accept and acknowledge that I have these character flaws and knowing that, that's when improvement begins. I always challenge myself to become a better person, not for anyone else, but for myself. It's hard because it's not an overnight process. I can't just say to myself "Okay Patty, starting today, you don't have to be lazy, stubborn, fickle, impatient and annoying." and boom the next morning I am not. But once you have the drive to be better, it will be a lot easier.
For the physical flaws, like this annoying birthmark on my legs, the only thing I can do is to just accept it. It's something that I have even when I was young. Acceptance is the key if you can't change a thing. Ayan na eh. There's nothing I cannot do about it. When you can't change something, just change your attitude towards it. Admittedly, it will be hard at first. But once you got over it, you'll live a happier life. Of course, there will be times when people will rub into your face your imperfections. I remember when I was younger, a lot of people would ask what this is. It made me insecure at first but will I allow this teeny-weeny part of my body define who I am? Certainly not. So I just dismissed it. Today when someone would ask me what this weird thing is I'll just say "Oh this one? When I was younger, a big fly landed on my legs and I spat it. Sadly, it died on my legs." If other people can't accept you because of your flaws, then it's not your problem anymore. Of course I have a host of other physical "flaws" from my small height, to small nose and loads more in between. But these are the things that make me - ME and make me wonderfully made by God. I know there really is a pressure to live up to certain standards mandated by society but the best thing we can do is to love ourselves regardless of our flaws. If we can change it, then go ahead. If not, change our attitude.
Perfection doesn't equate to happiness. I'm perfectly imperfect. I'm so grateful for my imperfections because these flaws make me humble and I know despite this, I'm perfectly wonderful in the eyes of God.
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