Love Appropriately

Learn to love appropriately.

You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent. Not sentimental gush.

Phil 1:9-10

You can actually read my mind

Throwback to July 2010: Never mistake my silence for weakness. Ever heard someone plan a murder out loud? Didn't think so. LOL. 

I've always been a transparent person. I seldom (or actually haven't) hide my feelings towards a person or to anything in particular. Whether I feel sad, happy, angry or stressed, it easily shows. I think it's a curse because I cannot, no matter how hard I try, pretend that I'm okay when I'm not. I don't know if it is because I have expressive eyes or I just don't like being pretentious. 

So one afternoon while having a discussion about a big project with my boss (and this project has been taking forever to actualize because of uhmm...nevermind. But to give a timeline on how 'forever' it has been, ever since I started working yun na ang ginagawa ko! Luh.), I wasn't able to hide how I feel towards it. I was explaining something to her when all of a sudden she said candidly, "Nakita ko yun. Nag-roroll ang eyes mo. Okay lang sakin yan pero pag nasa meeting tayo 'wag mo gagawin yan." She wasn't actually mad at me. But I just cannot hide that I feel really really frustrated on how things were going (plus I hate wasted efforts in all aspects of life lels). 

Okay, so my eyes have rolled 360 degrees. If I have to sum up how I really felt, baka gumulong na yung mata ko sa floor. It is involuntary I swear! Like I chose to let it behave that way. Nyahaha! Anyway, I think should try being less expressive. I'll practice how to do a poker face in front of a mirror.

So this fact makes me a bad liar. Because no matter what, it shows in my facial expressions the unearthed feelings I have. What I do is when a person asks me if I'm okay and I'm not -- I avoid looking at the person. On a sidenote, thank you for Facebook chat and Viber because if I have to lie about my feelings, it can be a good channel. Lol.

The good thing about this though is that when I'm extremely happy or excited, I don't need to say something. I have this automatic glow on my face. Gahhh. So when I'm inlove, halatang halata ako. Hahaha! 

Because weekend will be over soon, I just wanted to say:

I had a really really wonderful weekend :) Yay!!! :) :) :) Looking forward to an even greater week ahead.

Today, I realized that being nice coupled with a smile can go a long way -- beyond cultural and language barriers. Although, being pretty is a good advantage. LOLJK. (half-meant). I think I should smile a lot more often -- its makes people wonder what I'm up to.

Moving on from a broken puso

Last Saturday, my college friends and I watched the UAAP Cheerdance competition at MOA Arena. I've been regularly watching the competition since I started studying at UP and eventhough I'm already an alumnus of the university, I never fail to watch it live (except for last year). I know it is hard to get tickets for that event and I freakin' hate scalpers! Ugh. When we are outside of MOA last Saturday, a lot of scalpers were there tricking hopeless students to buying their tickets. I overheard someone selling his Gen Ad ticket for 1,500!!! Grabe. I'm thankful I have a friend from UP Pep Squad who is our source of tickets every year. Hihi. 

Anyway, UP was the first to perform. And like every first performer, it sets the bar for the other performers. UP did set a high bar. When I actually learned a week ago that UP will perform first, I have doubts. Not that I don't believe in UP Pep but my friend Lovely said, "Wala pang nanalo na unang nagperform" which could be true. But I know UP will negate that belief. When I saw them perform, I knew they will win. I just don't think they deserved to be the 2nd runner up. Their performance was spectacular. I had goosebumps specially during the last part when they were forming the heart pyramid with UP Naming Mahal as the background music. Yay. I'm just so proud! 

(photo not mine): This is AMAAAZIIIIIING!

I couldn't just believe they ranked third (Can I say that again?) Haha! We were all confident they're going to be the champion. But we were all brokenhearted to the turn of events. Oh well. Life's like that. You win some, you lose some.

So where do broken hearts go? To bed. Lol.

Anyway, speaking of broken hearts, I had a friend who broke up with his guy. It should be a "normal" breakup but then the girl is about to take her bar exam this November. Now, I could just imagine the stress and depression she's currently facing. As her friend, all I can do is give some advice but it's really up to her on how she can help herself. I've been in the same situation before and I know that even I received a lot of advice from my friends such as "Marami pang iba dyan", "May mas ok pa", "In God's time magiging okay ka", "Kala mo lang di ka makaka-move on" -- it's really up to me to believe them and move on... or stay stuck forever. I'm actually guilty of not believing their pieces of advice and I do my own way -- I indulged in self-pity which is WRONG. After four times of brokenheartedness, I now firmly believed in this: Don't spend time with people who made you feel like less than you are. 

As a person, you should always know your worth. People you love will, one way or another, make you cry, you just have to know who's worth your tears. God will allow you to lose some because He always have better plans for you... you just have to learn to let go.

Sidenote: This is what my friend Bert told me, "Kelangan natin iparealize sakanya na tayo nag let go tayo dati sa mga kashungahan natin. tapos after that naging mas okay tayo sa buhay". Indeed. Hahaha! Kashungahan talaga the term. Lol.