So, we had our business meeting/planning at some restaurant in Centris and this happens...

Yung totoo???  Kayo kayo ba magkakausap at hindi niyo lang talaga ko gusto isama sa usapan?? Hahaha!

LOL

Ang effort ni father. Lol. 

To The One Who I Thought Wanted To Stay, But Left Anyway

This was not mine. This post was shared by my friend and I think it was wonderfully written. It's like I wrote the letter myself (with little modifications)... 3 years ago. I remember writing a similar letter when I joined a retreat before. I wonder where I put that letter. Haha! Anyway, publishing this doesn't mean that I feel the same way I did when I wrote that letter. I may have a different sentiment today and that is... uh I don't know. I change my thoughts and emotions too quickly. Lels. There's this one line below though that still holds true. I miss my friend.

To The One Who I Thought Wanted To Stay, But Left Anyway

by You!, Our Readers  

As cliché as it may sound, I never thought you'd mean this much to me. Who would've known? I remember the moment we met. It wasn't magical. Time didn't stop then, the Earth didn't slow, my palms didn't get sweaty, and my heart didn't even skip a beat. I was clueless of what was in store for me. But had I seen it coming, I would've done the same thing still. I wouldn't have you any other way.

Yes, you warned me that inevitably, we'll hurt each other at some point and that eventually, this could all come to an end. But I ignored it because the first time I heard you laugh, I felt something clicked inside of me. And right then and there, I admit, I wanted to want you, and part of me hoped that I could transform you. Part of me hoped that I could be the game-changer. And that maybe, just maybe, I could be the exception.

And then, all of a sudden, right in the middle of our normal conversation, you stopped replying. I know you've done this a lot of times already and I could've chased after you. But wait, I tried, didn't I? At least I did. Yet, something was different in that instant. I felt it. You wanted to stop. And it was all I could do to keep myself from running after you.

I got so used to talking to you that now, I'm finding it hard not to. There's still so much that I wanted to say to you, too many things I wanted to do with you, and so many emotions I wanted to feel for you.

You left me with a sea of maybes and an ocean of what-ifs.

I hope leaving with no goodbye wasn't as easy for you as you made it seem. I hope at least I made it hard for you. But tell me, had you been wanting to do that for a while? I wonder if you've given that decision much thought or you consider it as something that doesn't even need pondering.

Did it ever hurt? I hope it did. I hope at least it did because so far, truth be told, the pain you inflicted, it hit me. Hard. And it still hurts. It's not killing me anymore, it's not keeping me up at night, and it's not making me cry myself to sleep anymore, but it still hurts.

I've got my pride and I promised myself I'd never ask why because I know you somehow and I'm pretty sure you don't have reasons that are valid enough to fill the void that was left in me. But I can't be sure because maybe you've changed and even so, I don't think I can stand hearing the truth.

I thought with time I'd realize it's over.

Up until now, I don't understand what went wrong. What happened? Was I so easy to give up? Was I not worth the risk? I know I swore I won't and I'm sorry because I can't help but ask, why? Why did you leave? Why did you walk away? Why?

Do you ever wish you just stayed?

Being the one left behind, the most difficult thing for me is not knowing whether to hold on and wait or to let go and move on. It's like I've got your message but I don't know what it means. Are you telling me "It's over"? Or are you just being you, trying to find peace? Are you coming back?

I don't know. But if this is it, thank you. Thank you for coming in to my life. And though the wounds are deep, I'm glad to have felt like I've had you.

I guess that's just how it goes; you rescued me from being stuck with someone before, and now I need another somebody to save me from you.

P.S. Years will pass and I may not anymore mean any of this. But right now, as I write this, know that it's true.
I miss you.

My Life Lately

I haven't updated this blog for the longest time because I felt I don't need to. I just want to live life as is and I don't want to keep track of what I've been doing (and not doing). Or I think I don't have any noteworthy things to say or momentous experiences that I want to remember three years down the road. But since I was able to arrive home extra early today (with my parents commenting: "Ang aga mo ngayon ah", lels seriously 8PM maaga??), I'll try to give this a shot. I find myself at loss for words lately and I can't seem to find the right words to say at the most appropriate time.

So, here's a random list of what I'm up to:

• I already know how to drive. Yey to more freedom to going to places. NOT. I still don't know how to park properly (and by properly I meant not occupying two parking slots and not having to scratch my car in the process). I only had my car last December and I don't know where did I get those scratches. Pfft. Aside from parking, what annoy me the most are the traffic enforcers. I mean I get really really really paranoid when I see one. I'm more scared when enforcers are around versus driving side by side with a truck/bus for that matter. Hello? Parang anytime soon, may maiisip silang violation kahit na wala. I'm speaking based from experience. I've got stopped by an enforcer for swerving. Lol. There's no such violation as swerving. Ha! I'll create a separate post dedicated for my driving experiences.

Huhu gasgas lang yan, malayo sa bituka. Lels.

• I feel that I'm too tired of my current job. Yes, I do have perks but I have this feeling that it's sucking my life while I try to make a living. For the past  months, I've been working overtime and even on weekends. I honestly feel that it's draining all my energy and my good vibes. I love my job, don't get me wrong. It's the closest thing to what I really want to do in life -- this job allows me to touch other people's lives. But hey, how can I be a world to others if I can't be a world of my own?! Lels. Anodaw. 

• I finally had a chance to go out of the country. But this is the most stressful trip that I had so far because I still have to answer work emails and send reports. Gah. Nevertheless, it's a breather to be able to travel again. I really need more of that.

sumakit ang muscles ko dito. huhu!

• I miss doing these: reading books, painting and dancing. Oh I need to review my development plan for myself. Haha! I specially miss dancing because I haven't had the time to exercise lately

Back to my first love. 

• It's official! Boyfriend and I have our own events management company. Yahoo! We're still sourcing for clients. But I'm really happy on how well our first corporate event went.

• Some random comments I've received:

          "Wow ang ganda ng kilay mo". 

          "Alam mo ang animated mo"

          "Napakahinhin mo naman"

          The last two comments were contradicting. So I'm actually confused if people see me as demure or not. I have to say that I have this ability to confuse people on my personality. Sometimes, I feel confused as well. Anyway, I just had dinner with a high school friend last night. Below are her random questions:

          "Di ka ba naprepressure na mag-asawa?" Nah. Ako maprepressure? I don't feel any pressure right now.

          "Gusto mo ba magwork abroad?" Well, nung single ako kinonsider ko yan. At pangarap ko yun. Pero right now, hmmm, I don't think I'll risk my relationship. Not that dependent na ko kay Marion, it's just that okay na ko...hahayaan ko pa ba mawala yun? I don't believe in LDRs.

He has the sweetest gf ever. What more can he ask for? Hahaha!

         
        "Pano mo nagagawang maging confident sa harap ng mga tao specially pag nagprepresent?" Me? Confident? Shy kaya ko. Lol. Well, ine-echos ko lang naman sila. Sa totoo, kinakabahan ako at di ko talaga alam minsan sinasabi ko but then naiisip ko na ang ganda ko naman so di na nila maiisip na kung ano ano lang pinagsasabi ko. Hahaha!
       "Madali mo makuha ang loob ng mga nanay ng mga boylets mo...ano ang sikreto mo?" Hahaha! ng mga nanay talaga? hindi ba pwedeng makuha ang loob ng mga boylets ko mismo? Choz! Nah, sweet at sadyang chikadora lang talaga ko.

          

Happy midweek!

There are all kinds of love in the world, but never the same love twice.” —F. Scott Fitzgerald

This rings a bell.

Have I been in my 4-year ago self, I would have actually relate to these lines. Things change and people change and it's always for the better. I hope. We meet so many people in one lifetime and yet we only truly connect with a selected few of them. 

"Sometimes I think I’ve felt everything I’m ever gonna feel and from here on out I’m not going to feel anything new. Just lesser versions of what I’ve already felt.”

i felt a little sad. why????

Flashback Friday

Today, twenty summa cum laude graduates lead the 103rd general commencement exercises of the University of the Philippines (UP) Diliman. I miss my alma mater. When I saw pictures of the graduates, I felt tiny regret of not pursuing my masters at UP. I could have had a chance to wear sablay for the second time around. But, oh well. This was my choice.

I miss wearing comfortable clothes, walking around the campus, eating isaw and most of all, I miss being a student. Life is easier and carefree then.  It has been n years. It's hard being an adult.

seductive look. lols.