Lately, I've become easily bothered with the smallest things. I have become too sensitive and I easily criticize things that did not go my way. I find myself rolling my eyes on work and sometimes thinking if everything I'm doing is worth it. I'm earning a lot (well not really a lot but coming from a measly salary during my banker days, what I am currently earning is a HUGE jump) and I feel that it is still inadequate. I used to live paycheck by paycheck because I contribute to our house and I'm paying my own tuition fee but I realized I was worry-free/stress-free then. Now, not only did I have my investments, I am also able to pay for my parents' vacation at Bohol and Palawan. My friends would point out I am "successful" for being part of management team and being in graduate school at the same time. Yet, I feel that I am not. I have a car and a small business which are my ultimate goals before I reach thirty and yet somehow, I am not genuinely happy. In short, I have turned less grateful and became bit of a grumbler. It is embarassing to admit but I think these are signs of getting old. (Note to self: Read my favorite book - The Little Prince)
As I turned a year older, I vow to chase my happiness back. Not that I am unhappy with what I have now but I want to be more grateful, kind, and positive. I vow to chase my dreams when I was young and to nurture relationships more than building wealth. I guess that's what making me feel sad lately -- I feel the pressure of being an adult.
When I visited Pink Sisters' Convent at Tagaytay last weekend, I talked to HIM and I feel at peace. The last time I went to Tagaytay was when I attended a Silent Retreat (previous post) way back in 2012. I think I should attend another retreat to renew my faith. Anyway, I am thankful for all the blessings I've received and will receive. I guess next year will be my best year yet. Thank you, Jesus!
Happy birthday to meeeee!!!!
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