Every ending is a beginning.

I would say my 2015 has been the most stressful year for me so far but as what I've always said... I'm blessed to be stressed.

It has full of ups - I've been to places, met new friends, strengthened my relationships, started a new business and almost finished my MBA. I've also experienced lows in work and school. Nevertheless, I am so thankful for the wonderful experiences. I'm looking forward to new experiences, new places to conquer, new businesses to start, new career to pursue, a graduate degree to finish and a whole LOT of lessons to learn. I will not anymore write a long post because words are not enough to express how I feel.

Thank you Lord for the blessings. It has been a great year. Looking forward to an even GREATER 2016.

My birthday weekend

I'm thankful to have a day-off from work last Friday. Marion just came from his Indonesia trip and I picked him up at Makati -- should be at the airport but then I couldn't wake up really early because we just had our company Christmas party on Thursday night. Also, I was able to get home at 12MN because some bully guy who is driving a red Mitsubishi Adventure (plate number WKI 827) hit my car. Tsss.

After picking him up, we had our brunch at SBC Bonifacio High Street. He dropped me an hour later at McDo near St. Lukes because I'm meeting my college friends there before we head to Tagaytay. The Tagaytay trip is welcome-to-the-real-world and/or post-breakup trip for our friend Fay who is mending a broken heart and just took the Bar Exam last November. Her mom also went with us (which is okay because tita is so nice and is willing to treat us dinner hihi) and Vlad was joking that his goal is to have a zero-gastos for the trip. We made a bet that it won't be possible because he is the king of pasalubongs plus knowing his appetite, he needs to eat every hour. True enough, the first thing he bought was a McChicken fillet meal. I asked him, "Di ka nagbreakfast??" which he nonchalantly answered "Nagbreakfast...eh gutom ako eh." "So ang goal mo ay zero money left sa wallet at hindi zero gastos". We left BGC at 11AM and arrived Tagaytay at 2PM. We had lunch at Dencio's and went to Tierra de Maria after.

lunch at Dencio's

     

We checked in at Taal Vista Hotel. After checking in, our first activity was to...sleep. We feel like lolas and lolos. Grabe. We even had a conversation reminiscing how "energetic" we were before -- we can sleep at 3AM and feel sooo alive the morning after. Now, we already feel sleepy at 9PM, lucky if we still get to party 'till 10PM. So what happened to our energy?! We feel so old.

relaxing view at Taal Vista Hotel

giant Christmas tree

After an hour, we went out for dinner. I feel so fat in just 4 hours. My stomach feels bloated and I can feel it say, "Huhu kakain uli??" But who am I to resist a free dinner, right? Lol. After dinner we went to Bag of Beans for dessert.

              

After too much eating, I slept early and I wasn't able to join my friends for stargazing. Yuck ang tanda ko na talaga! But I woke up early as well the following day. We left Tagaytay at 1PM. At 3PM, I waited for boyfie to pick me up at Shangri-la and as my birthday gift, he let me shop  for anything I want! Wohooo! I really love this guy.

On Sunday, my family and I went to Bulacan to attend my cousin's daughter's christening. We went home right after because my family organized a birthday party for me and mama.

I am soooo thankful my birthday fell on a weekday hence, I was able to avail a birthday leave.

On Monday (my exact birthday), I went to Makati Med to have a checkup -- yeah, like this was the coolest thing to do on a birthday nyahaha! (This has been postponed for the longest time. I was diagnosed with hemangioma last June and I had a CT Scan last month). I went to Makati Med to have my CT scan results read by the doctor. It feels good to have so "me" time even if I'm in a hospital. I was supposed to read a book while waiting for the doctor but my time was spent on replying to peoples' birthday greetings. I finished at 10AM and had brunch at Pancake House, waited for boyfriend for his lunch break before I head to Sofitel Vietura for my free treatment. Ms. Agnes, was so nice and the Vietura staff surprised me with a birthday cake.

Yay! I'm surprised!!! 

Ms. Agnes also treated me for a free foot massage. Yay! I feel soooo relaxed. I pick up boyfriend from work and we had my birthday dinner. Hooray for 20-ish years of existence (just because I stopped counting at 25 lol).

Happy birthday to me!

CHRISTMAS VACATION STARTS NOW WOHOOOOO!

P.S. Will climb my bed again. Aaaaah, I miss this feeling.

P.P.S. Hooray! Will have time more time for blogging, hanging around and reading non-business related books. :)

Saw this article circulating online and I wanted to post it here. #Feels. It is a good article and I can actually relate most specially because I just turned n years old last Monday.

The Tail End

By Tim Urban

Note: Hi. The last few posts turned out to be quite…thorough. So to bring things back to Earth, this will be the first in a string of short posts that will be coming out over the next few weeks.

___________

In a post last year, we laid out the human lifespan visually. By years:

By months:

And by weeks:

While working on that post, I also made a days chart, but it seemed a bit much, so I left it out. But fuck it.

The days chart blows my mind as much as the weeks chart. Each of those dots is only a single Tuesday or Friday or Sunday, but even a lucky person who lives to 90 will have no problem fitting every day in their life on one sheet of paper.

But since doing the Life in Weeks post, I’ve been thinking about something else.

Instead of measuring your life in units of time, you can measure it in activities or events. To use myself as an example:

I’m 34, so let’s be super optimistic and say I’ll be hanging around drawing stick figures till I’m 90.1 If so, I have a little under 60 winters left:

And maybe around 60 Superbowls left:

The ocean is freezing and putting my body into it is a bad life experience, so I tend to limit myself to around one ocean swim a year. So as weird as it seems, I might only go in the ocean 60 more times:

Not counting Wait But Why research, I read about five books a year, so even though it feels like I’ll read an endless number of books in the future, I actually have to choose only 300 of all the books out there to read and accept that I’ll sign off for eternity without knowing what goes on in all the rest.

Growing up in Boston, I went to Red Sox games all the time, but if I never move back there, I’ll probably continue at my current rate of going to a Sox game about once every three years—meaning this little row of 20 represents my remaining Fenway visits:

There have been eight US presidential elections during my lifetime and about 15 to go. I’ve seen five presidents in office and if that rate continues, I’ll see about nine more.

I probably eat pizza about once a month, so I’ve got about 700 more chances to eat pizza. I have an even brighter future with dumplings. I have Chinese food about twice a month and I tend to make sure six dumplings occurs each time, so I have a fuckton of dumplings to look forward to:

But these things aren’t what I’ve been thinking about. Most of the things I just mentioned happen with a similar frequency during each year of my life, which spreads them out somewhat evenly through time. If I’m around a third of my way through life, I’m also about a third of my way through experiencing the activity or event.

What I’ve been thinking about is a really important part of life that, unlike all of these examples, isn’t spread out evenly through time—something whose [already done / still to come] ratio doesn’t at all align with how far I am through life:

Relationships.

I’ve been thinking about my parents, who are in their mid-60s. During my first 18 years, I spent some time with my parents during at least 90% of my days. But since heading off to college and then later moving out of Boston, I’ve probably seen them an average of only five times a year each, for an average of maybe two days each time. 10 days a year. About 3% of the days I spent with them each year of my childhood.

Being in their mid-60s, let’s continue to be super optimistic and say I’m one of the incredibly lucky people to have both parents alive into my 60s. That would give us about 30 more years of coexistence. If the ten days a year thing holds, that’s 300 days left to hang with mom and dad. Less time than I spent with them in any one of my 18 childhood years.

When you look at that reality, you realize that despite not being at the end of your life, you may very well be nearing the end of your time with some of the most important people in your life. If I lay out the total days I’ll ever spend with each of my parents—assuming I’m as lucky as can be—this becomes starkly clear:

It turns out that when I graduated from high school, I had already used up 93% of my in-person parent time. I’m now enjoying the last 5% of that time. We’re in the tail end.

It’s a similar story with my two sisters. After living in a house with them for 10 and 13 years respectively, I now live across the country from both of them and spend maybe 15 days with each of them a year. Hopefully, that leaves us with about 15% of our total hangout time left.

The same often goes for old friends. In high school, I sat around playing hearts with the same four guys about five days a week. In four years, we probably racked up 700 group hangouts. Now, scattered around the country with totally different lives and schedules, the five of us are in the same room at the same time probably 10 days each decade. The group is in its final 7%.

So what do we do with this information?

Setting aside my secret hope that technological advances will let me live to 700, I see three takeaways here:

1) Living in the same place as the people you love matters. I probably have 10X the time left with the people who live in my city as I do with the people who live somewhere else.

2) Priorities matter. Your remaining face time with any person depends largely on where that person falls on your list of life priorities. Make sure this list is set by you—not by unconscious inertia.

3) Quality time matters. If you’re in your last 10% of time with someone you love, keep that fact in the front of your mind when you’re with them and treat that time as what it actually is: precious.

Where did the time go???

I don't fear getting old. What I fear is becoming old enough to realize that I have not lived the life I envisioned when I was six years old.

Lately, I've become easily bothered with the smallest  things. I have become too sensitive and I easily criticize things that did not go my way. I find myself rolling my eyes on work and sometimes thinking if everything I'm doing is worth it. I'm earning a lot (well not really a lot but coming from a measly salary during my banker days, what I am currently earning is a HUGE jump) and I feel that it is still inadequate. I used to live paycheck by paycheck because I contribute to our house and I'm paying my own tuition fee but I realized I was worry-free/stress-free then. Now, not only did I have my investments, I am also able to pay for my parents' vacation at Bohol and Palawan. My friends would point out I am "successful" for being part of management team and being in graduate school at the same time. Yet, I feel that I am not. I have a car and a small business which are my ultimate goals before I reach thirty and yet somehow, I am not genuinely happy. In short, I have turned less grateful and became bit of a grumbler. It is embarassing to admit but I think these are signs of getting old. (Note to self: Read my favorite book - The Little Prince)

As I turned a year older, I vow to chase my happiness back. Not that I am unhappy with what I have now but I want to be more grateful, kind, and positive. I vow to chase my dreams when I was young and to nurture relationships more than building wealth. I guess that's what making me feel sad lately -- I feel the pressure of being an adult.

When I visited Pink Sisters' Convent at Tagaytay last weekend, I talked to HIM and I feel at peace. The last time I went to Tagaytay was when I attended a Silent Retreat (previous post) way back in 2012. I think I should attend another retreat to renew my faith. Anyway, I am thankful for all the blessings I've received and will receive. I guess next year will be my best year yet. Thank you, Jesus!

Happy birthday to meeeee!!!!

I drive the whole stretch of EDSA everyday when I go home and I always see vendors -- you know those manongs who sells peanuts, bottled waters, candies, rags etc. I have a high respect for them and everytime I see them, I feel so thankful for my job. Ang hirap kaya magtinda sa EDSA -- mausok, mainit at delikado. When I was still commuting, I used to tell my boyfriend when we see a manong offering mani inside the bus, "Grabe, magkano kaya nabebenta nila sa isang araw... eh parang kada 20 meters, may umaakyat na nagtitinda din ng mani. So grabe ang competition. Pano kaya sila kumikita no?" (with matching explanation on Law of supply and demand lol). I also tell boyfie "Natutuwa ako sakanila. Nakakainis kasi yung mga magnanakaw. Buti pa sila masipag." If I wasn't asthmatic, I'll buy all their peanuts (I don't know why but peanuts trigger my asthma).

Last Friday, I passed by a really old manong along EDSA. I initially thought "grabe nakakaawa naman" but on the other hand I thought "ang galing naman ni manong. ang sipag". Too bad I didn't have the time to stop and buy from him because traffic was moving and well... I was scrambling for my wallet in my very organized bag *sarcasm* and I don't want to annoy the driver behind me. I suddenly had an idea -- I wanted to give something to all the vendors along EDSA. Well, not really to all....imposible ata yun. I have this idea of buying something (not really grand... things like t-shirt, food or whatever) for them and giving it to them just to let them know na ang galing nila at nabibilib ako sa tiyaga nila. Rather than resorting to easy money (like what snatchers, holduppers do at nagkalat din sila sa EDSA GRRRR), they chose to work hard to earn money. Must  tell this to boyfie para siya ang magdridrive at ako ang mag aabot sakanila. Hahaha! 'Di kasi marunong magabot habang nagdridrive...nagpapanic ako. Wahahaha!

LOL

Fast and VERY furious lol

HOOOOORAAAAAAY! I'M SOOOOOOOOO DOOOOONEEEE with the term :)

I've been on a hiatus from blogging because I'm cramming busy writing my 150-page Strama paper and trying to balance a lot of things in the office. I've been in a grumpy mood for the past three weeks because of many reasons and one of which is not being able to avail my vacation leaves. There was a day when I was allowed to take my leave but I was still expected to answer emails. Sheesh.

I couldn't believe I'm done with my Strama class. The experience was not as what I have expected it to be BUT it was still exhausting. I remember my post last February about how stressful it is to study Financial Management but seeing fellow DLSU students cram on their Strama class, I think I was on a better situation then. Too bad I wasn't able to get the famous professor for Strama (famous because he is so damn good but will really make your MBA life hard) because he already retired from teaching. Nevertheless, I'm glad this is over.

Last Saturday was the deadline of our paper. I felt giving up because I'm just so tired with everything -- I've been working overtime and I don't have time to start on my paper. I was so annoyed with work as I was dealing with the project I never get to finish until now. Hay. So much frustration on people who can't decide. And because I'm re-doing everything for work, I was not allowed to take my leaves. I was on the verge of quitting and actually talked with my boss about resigning. lol. I was not really happy at all.

Anyway, I started writing my paper during APEC when we were allowed to work from home. Thank goodness! Last Friday, I was supposedly on a half day leave but I left the office at around 3PM (on a sidenote, half-day nga yun kasi 10PM naman ako nakakaalis ng office! grrr. this sounds so much like a rant I know but..). Friday night I was on my 80th page but I fell asleep while doing my paper. Huhu. I woke up at 5AM and continued my paper. I can sense the panic from my classmates as they are all asking what time exactly should we need to submit our papers. We just need to upload our paper but me and my classmates were all confused with the time. When I logged in the La Salle system using my laptop, it shows that the deadline is at 5PM BUT when I used my phone, it shows 9AM. At 7AM, I don't think I'll be able to make it to the 9AM deadline so I convinced myself that the deadline is 5PM. Hahaha! Boyfriend was supposed to go at our house to give me some moral support BUT at around 8:00AM, our electricity went out. #HOMAYGULAYGANONBAKOKAMALAS!!! My mind froze and I just wanted the ground to swallow me alive. But I have no time to panic so I immediately took a bath, called boyfriend to cancel his plan of going to our house and drove all the way to his house. I can actually go to the nearest coffeeshop but I cannot anymore think if there's a near coffeeshop that is already open at that time. I was able to drive to boyfie's house which is 35 kilometers away in less than an hour and he was teasing me, "Baby, ang bilis mo magdrive ah. Ganun pala pag nagpapanic na." Grar. Hahaha! So, I was able to finish my paper at 4PM and I tried uploading it in our system as soon as I was done BUT the webpage says, "This page cannot be displayed." Huhuhu. I was already crying because of too much stress. Fortunately after n tries, I was able to access the site at 4:30PM. As soon as I clicked "Submit", I was able to breath normally. Boyfie told me I grew younger by 5 years as soon as I was done with the paper. GRABE LANG.

ang labo talaga ng time >.< It says 7:24AM when I submitted it at 4:24PM haha!

Starting today, I will be stressing only about work. YAHOOOOO!