To Someone I Used to Know

School will be starting next week and so I decided to clean up my files when I saw this letter I made...uhm.. a year ago? or two years ago? I can't exactly remember when. I smiled at myself when I read the letter. I'm pretty sure when I was writing it, I wasn't smiling at all. Funny how time fly fast. Funny how almost two years ago, I was in a position wherein I never thought I'll be able to handle. It was then that I almost lost my self-esteem. It was then that I ended feeling so bad for myself. It was then that I felt I was never good enough. Looking back, I know I'm in a much much better place right now. Not only because I was finally able to move on from something that almost changed me for the worse, but because I now know what is important for me.

I'm posting this now not because I wanted to relieve the pain I felt before but because I'm more than glad to see that I could muster to smile at myself while reading this. I'm happy I was able to forgive, forget and more importantly, to love again... Maybe it's really love, not time, that heals all wounds.

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To Someone I Used to Know,

I don’t know if you ever think of me or if you still know me, but I just want to write this letter to you. I’ve given you letters in the past – the last was the longest one I’ve written for you (and the saddest one I guess). I don’t know what made me write a letter for you again. It’s just that when I was cleaning up my room, I unearthed something you gave me before. I wanted to throw it, nonetheless I chose to bury it instead. I know there’s a bigger possibility that you won’t be able to read this, but there’s also a little chance that you might. So what do I really want to say?

September. How time flies right? It’s been a year. A year ago when we are ‘almost dating’. Almost. Or barely. Whatever it is. I guess it’s just my point of view. I don’t know yours. Maybe I’m just too attached or maybe I was just hopeful then. Maybe I was just being assuming or maybe I’m just inlove. No. It’s not maybe. I’m sure I WAS. Can you blame me for that? 

Do you know the line – don’t make someone fall for you if you don’t intend to catch them? Yes. You made me fall. And yes, I was extremely hurt because that’s just it – you just made me fall.  You are the one who’s always telling me to take things slow because you are unsure of your feelings then. Dear, if you are unsure of it, you shouldn’t have told me that in the first place. You just gave me false hopes. Well, maybe you are not the only one to blame. I had my share of mistakes too. 

Nevertheless, thank you for all the lessons that I learned the hard (and painful way). Because of you, I became wiser and stronger. What happened between us made me realize to choose wisely on the kind of guy I’ll love the next time around – someone who knows my worth. 

I'm not wishing you ill. In fact, I still wish the best for you. We'll be friends when I can finally laugh at how insanely unreasonable you are and when I can I say that I've really moved on. 

As I write this letter to you, I’m being bittersweet. It’s been a year.

See you (really) sooooooooon Boracay!

Wohooooooo! I'll see you again in less than 48 hours Boracay (this time in my more fatty but happy self hahahaha! ). I'm sooo sooo not bikini ready. But oh well. Hahaha! #egzzzooooooyyyted

Happy Teddybearsary!

Today marks my anniversary with my bed partner... Beddy Bear! This was given to me by nobody else but my boyfie which was then my friend when he gave me that "souvenir". And because I know I'll be missing him (he's out for a business trip again for a week), I decided to post this. I know I've been blogging about the lucky guy *wink wink pasalubong..ehem* more often than necessary. Hahaha! It's just that...I'm still in a love bubble for almost 11 months..and counting! Wohooooo! 

Looking back, I never really thought that I'd be having Marion as my boyfriend. We are complete opposites!! And besides he's soooooo maldito when I first met him at Toastmasters. I exactly remember that day... he was a guest at our club and he was seated next to me. We at TM were trained to be nice to our guests so I struck a conversation with him which goes like this:

Me: Hi! Taga-san ka? *with matching wide smile*

Marion: Taga Bulacan *Marion looks away* *silence* *insert sounds of kuliglig here*

My thought bubble: Okay suplado. bahala ka dyan. Hahahaha!

That was it. Diba???? Suplado lang???? Hmp. Hahaha! I never talked to him after that incident. And as a retaliation, I called him to deliver an impromptu speech. Ha! Suplado ka ah, buti na lang ako ang Table Topics Master. Lagot ka ngayon. Wahahaha! 

But after that he became nicer to me. Siya na ang laging nauunang makipagusap! Hahaha! In fact, we even became close friends. 

May last year when out of the blue he sent me a text message inviting me out for a date. Yeah that was our first "real" date. Sure, we'd go out before but with our clubmates. Our first real date wasn't really a "normal" date. I cried to him while we we're hanging out at Kopi Roti. Hahaha! Asked him why. That day, I also realized he will be a great friend.

It was during our first "real" date when he gave me Beddy Bear. I remember how he gave me that bear. We were inside a mall when all of a sudden he stopped and said, "May nakita akong bilihan ng souvenir. Tara bilan kita". Puzzled, I asked "Ha? Souvenir?? Anong souvenir??" So he brought me inside a teddy bear store and asked me to pick one. 

When asked why he did that, he said "Wala lang. Iyakin ka kasi eh. Para may ma-hug ka." Awwwwwwwww.  I knew right then and there that he will be for keeps. :)

#memories