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What You Learn From The One Who Won’t Love You Back

by Merill Ravago

He will never love you back because you’re not what he’s looking for. You’re just nice to have for the now because you’re always available. You’re the one before he finds the actual one. You’re the intermission number for the main event. You’re the half-time before the game starts. You’re one of his options but not his priority. You’re his back-up plan.

He invests time in you because he has no one else. He stays with you because you’re willing to make out with him. He pretends to love you because he knows you’ll fall for it. And you did.

You fall for him because he makes you feel like you’re the only one. Well, you are. But that’s until he can find someone else. Not even someone else better. Just someone else. You fall for him because he holds your hand and he intertwines his fingers with yours. You fall for him because he kisses you on the cheek. You fall for him because he makes you laugh. You fall for him because he made you believe. He made you believe you two were meant to be. He made you believe he wanted you. He made you believe he liked your upturned nose. He made you believe he was the one you would walk the altar to.

You’re not stupid. No, you’re not. You thought he was your dream come true. You thought he would be the one save you. And he did. You just thought he would stay. You just thought he would be there for good. You thought your late night McDonald’s runs were good for a lifetime. You just thought. But he knew.

He will never love you back the way you want him to. Because, it turns out, he doesn’t like your upturned nose. He doesn’t like the way your bony fingers feel with his. He doesn’t like the way your lips touch. He’s competitive and he aims for the best. He wants his 100%. And you’re not it. You’re not even close.

So while you wait for him to find someone else, you stay with him. Because who’s to judge you if you’re happy? You’re happy but deep down inside of you, in the tingling sensations of your heart, in the tiniest of the tips of your fingers, you know that the hurt he’s going to leave you with was never worth the happy he made you feel.

There’s no harmless way out of this. One way or another, you’re going to come out scarred. But eventually, you’ll learn that he came and left to make you realize that your true one will only come but will never leave. He will. But only to buy you flowers.

You’ll learn that you are beyond the spaces of a man’s fingers. Because your true one will hold you, and not just your hand. You’ll learn that your true one won’t think you’re 100% because he won’t even stoop down to the level of measuring what you are. You’ll learn that your true one won’t just kiss your cheek but your upturned nose, too. You’ll learn that your true one will make you smile in the quietest of moments, in the loudest of silences. You’ll learn that your true one doesn’t have time to make you believe anything because he’s too busy showing you. You’ll learn that your true one will never make you doubt because there’s nothing to doubt. You’ll learn that your true one won’t think you’re the main event because he’s not just there for the entertainment, for the good times; he’s there for the bad times, too.

You’ll learn that your true one will think he won at the game because he has you. You’ll learn that you’re the one too. You’ll learn that your true one will know. And you will too. You will both know. And he will love you back. Far more than you ever dreamed. And will make you forget that you were ever capable of hurting.

What I'm missing now

Ever since I started in graduate school, I always find myself reading a LOT of books. I was actually amazed on the capacity of my brain cells to digests four to five chapters in one seating and a day before the exam. Lol. Some of the books I have read from cover to cover are Fundamentals of Financial Management, Economics, Principles of Accounting, Management Accounting etc. etc. Hardcore!!! Feeling ko ang tali-talino ko na. Hahaha!
But then I realized also that I actually missed 'nakakabobo' books -- books that I read without having to think much.
Today, while eating breakfast, I was reading Inquirer Magazine when I chanced upon an article entitled 'The (Funny) Book of Love'. It featured the book 'Parang Kayo Pero Hindi'.  I was able to read excerpts from the book.

“The One That Got Away”

Lahat tayo, mayroong the “one that got away.”

He or she can be an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, a former manliligaw or dating niligawan, a person we used to date or got involved with, or someone we had a connection in the past.

Posibleng what we had with this person was something definite. Puwede rin pasimula pa lang. Blossoming. Promising.

Pero dahil sa wrong timing, o wrong decision, o baka dahil sa distance or circumstances, o sa mga tao sa paligid, nahiwalay tayo sa kanila. Maaring umalis siya at nawala, o tayo ang umalis at nang-iwan; at naudlot na nga o natigil ang possible sanang relationship with this person…

Napapatanong tayo sa ating sarili: Ano kaya kung hindi kami naghiwalay? Ano kaya kung hindi siya nawala? Ano kaya kung binigyan ko siya ng chance? Ano kaya kung pinatawad ko siya agad? Ano kaya kung hindi na ako nag-inarte noon? Ano kaya kung pinaglaban naming ang isa’t isa? Ano kaya?…

Sadyang makulit lang talaga tayo. Hindi na tayo nakuntento sa kung ano’ng meron ngayon at gusto pa natin balikan iyong nakalipas na. Pinapakialaman natin kung ano ang dinikta ng tadhana…

Maybe, I should also start following the author's blog http://noringai.blogspot.com/

I also remember reading last year the popular Ramon Bautista's book "Bakit Hindi ka Crush ng Crush mo?" and I really loved it. Super funny and straight to the point. And everything he said in that book actually make sense. Below are some of my favorite lines from the book. But seriously, I really loved everything that is written on it. I was laughing the whole time I was reading the book

Sir, bakit kaya ganun? After namin mag-afternoon date nung guy friend ko na crush ko, hindi na nagparamdam sa'kin?
May ginawa ka sigurong hindi likeable like ordering 3 extra rice for yourself only. Remember girls, don't order extra rice on the first date.


Sabi ko sa crush ko pag-pray niya po ako sa board exam. Sabi niya hindi daw siya nagpe-pray kasi atheist siya. Tapos nakita siya nung friend ko na nagsimba. Feeling ko wala talaga ako sa radar niya. Pero ganoon pa man, happy ako kasi love niya din si Lord.
Ayaw talaga niya sayo kasi maski si Lord pinagkanulo niya. 'Yaan mo, ako, ipagpe-pray kita. Hihi.


Ano ang best way to get over a break-up? Nanghihinayang ako, 3 years din yun.
3 years versus the rest of your life. Ano mas sayang kung di ka magmu-move on?

Don Ramon, tama po bang maghanap agad ng bago eh kamamatay pa lang ng gf ko?
Ipa-40 days mo muna at baka multuhin ka at madamay pa yung kapalit.

Sir RB, may two friends ako kakabreak lang. Ang issue LDR. Yung girl kasi biglang nag-medicine sa Dasma. Si boy minsan lang may cash pamasahe papunta dun. Nagkikita lang sila once a month. Si girl gusto lahat sakanya ang attention. Si boy naman ayaw ng nasasakal. Sino tama?
Pareho sila. Ayun nagbreak.

Bakit kadalasan hindi nagwowork out ang Long Distance Relationship?
(3) Walang physical contact
(2) May physical contact galing sa iba
(1) Walang trust/faith sa love

Sir!! Bagsak ako sa Trigo. Pano ko sasabihin sa parents ko? First time kong bumagsak sa isang subject!!!! :( HELP ME.
Mag-empake ka ng gamit. Pag tinanong ka,sabihin mo nahihiya ka sa kanila at lalayas ka na lang. Sabihin mo bumagsak ka sa Trigo sabay iyal. Yayakapin ka nila at bibigyan ng words of encouragement. Pag pinalayas ka, at least nakapag-empake ka na. Goodluck!

Sir RB pano po ang manlandi in a subtle, everyday basis?
Daanin mo sa smile. Yung mapupungay ang mata na nagniningning. Sa eyes talaga nakukuha yung smile at hindi sa lips. Saka mag-invest ka sa mga planjing neckline na kita cleavage.

Sir RB, nafriend-zone ako kanina, ang sabi ko sa kanya "UI CRUSH, ENGE NAMAN NG DIGITS MO.HIHI." Ang reply niya sakin "Ahaha number mo na lang po. Text na lang kita. Hehe". Pano makakaganti o paano kaya ako makakalusot sa supalpal niya? Hihi.
Nakakatakot naman kasi talaga yung banat mo parang killer lang eh pati HIHI all caps parang si Incredible Hulk na kinikilig. Wag ka na gumanti o lumusot.. Move on, let go na lang.

My ultimate favorite is on page 94 of the book. Too lazy to type it because it's Ramon's longest answer to a question.

Anyway, I really miss reading these kind of books. I really should find time to insert them in my reading materials. Haha!

This :)

To whom it may concern,

I now believe that losing you isn't my loss. In fact, it opened wonderful opportunities for me. And because between the two of us you are the one who have let go, you lose more. So, please move on. I have nothing to do with you. Not now, not ever.

Sincerely,

The one that (thankfully) got away

MBA Madness

If you have been folllowing my Instagram, you will note that lately I have been posting pictures (aside from selfies joke!) about my adventures in Graduate school.. I have been occupied with my Financial Management subject ever since the start of the year (well, sadly it's the reason why I haven't posted a year-ender blog). They say, FINMAN is hardest subject before STRAMA (Strategic Management) and I couldn't agree more. I've been contemplating for the longest time if my decision to take MBA is worth it. But oh well, I believe in delayed gratification. I know someday, this will  pay off. Well...in fact I'm starting to reap some of the benefits (though the cons still outweigh the pros) Hahahaha! I really can't wait to finish my MBA! Four more terms (supposedly three but I have decided to major in Marketing so I need to take additional electives)  and I'm done!!!!

We always chant these in our Finman class:

"No pain... No gain"
"No risk... No return"
"No ID... No entry"

Hahaha! I'm just so happy that our Midterm exam in FinMan is over. But then the worse is yet to come. I can do this (repeat to self a million times)

Let me share something that I witnessed weeks ago. For the past four Saturdays, I have been studying Finman at Starbucks RCBC while waiting for my boyfriend (who always do Overtime work on Saturdays gah haha). So, I will be at Starbucks from 8:30am up to sawa (yeah 'sawa' talaga because as much as I try to study for more than 8 hours straight, napapagod din naman brain ko but then I would still have to wait for 3 more hours because apparently, di napapagod mag-OT si boyfie). Haha, and so I was there really really early in the morning and most of the time, I'm the only customer (which favors me because I really don't like distractions -- Fiman inaaral ko men! kung ibang subject, I can welcome distractions hehe). 

alone...I always got by on my own..hahaha

readings..readings..Finman..Finman..

6 hours later, I was interrupted by a whole class of La Salle students (which I presume were all taking StraMa). I watched them panic and go crazy while an old man (I later found out he's the professor) sits comfortably and questions the students one by one about their thesis. I also later found out that he is the best prof in Strama so I hope I will be able to enroll in his class before he retires (Some of my classmates said he's about to retire in 2015). Some of the conversations I heard (haha chismosa ang peg):

Prof: My question is "Will you be able to defend this in your oral compre?" If not, I won't accept your proposal.

Student:  Yes sir. 

Prof: Is this a new a new strategy? I don't believe it's a new strategy. Try coming up with a new one. You are only targeting a new market segment. 

Student: But sir this is a new strategy because currently we don't have this blah blah in our company

Prof: Are you sure it's a strategy? What are the dimensions of a strategy? Kasi if you do this, it's part of marketing. Go to your checkers, show them your strategy and defend to them first before you present it to me. If you were able to convince them that this is a new strategy, I will sign your proposal.

And I overhead a lot of similar conversations between the students and the prof. My goodness! I can  see the pressure and the stress in their faces. Imagine, a student holding his thesis proposal (already ring-binded) as thick as the book I'm reading and his proposal is being rejected by the prof. Tsk tsk tsk. At the end of the day, only one thesis proposal was approved.. Lucky student! She literally cried buckets while the prof is signing her paper while her classmates cheered and took pictures of her and her "signed" thesis proposal. I decided not to complain about my FinMan. FinMan is not so bad after all...

I even saw students bringing their own printers and printing inside Starbucks. Pffft and all of them are holding their laptops, discussing among each other and... panicking! Is this a premonition of the things to come? Hay. If this will be the case four terms from now, good luck to me! For now, let me handle FinMan first. Haha! I CAN DO THIS! AJA!

students freaking out

busy with their laptops

students printing

Addendum:

One lesson I learned from our dear professor in FinMan -- "Finance is always moving forward". If you've been in a relationship or whatever you call it for the longest time and suddenly, your special someone decided to call it quits, don't fret. Just consider it as a SUNK COST. Move forward. Wahahaha! 

Note to self:

Just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing.  Every great success requires some type of worthy struggle to get there. :)

Hahaha!

I saw this video while cleaning the files in my laptop. Hahahaha! That was 3 or 4 years ago when we were forced to dance in public supposedly for fun. My very supportive friends volunteered me and Lovely. Ohhh I suddenly missed Bohol...and my friends.

Best email I received today

Wohooooooooooooo! This is it! 22 days left!!! :)