lifeletter

Dear life,

I came to accept that you are harsh. But can you be a little bit kinder to me this time? Because seriously, I'm so tired of you. JOKE! Hahaha! How can I be so negative?! I should be positive so I can attract good vibes. LOL.

Anyway, I'm so sleepy. Let me dwell on you tomorrow. Goodbye Sunday, see you again next week! Hello Mondayyyyyyyy. Pfft. Why can't we just have a three-day weekend instead of two? Oh well.

Xoxo,

Patty

brace-d

Today marks my "two-weeksary" of my braces. I can say these braces eewiefreeeakinghuuuuuuurts!!!! Huhuhu. But I'm getting used to it. Hay. I shoud get used to it. I MUST GET USED TO IT (repeat to self 100 times). I have no choice but to get used it...or else, I'll end up being a stick with metal braces on her teeth. Tss...

Why did I do this to myself in the first place?! Haha! Oops I wasn't the one who put this thing on my teeth. Oooohlala. I coin the word "tiis ganda". Hmm...But I have a good teeth. Ang arte arte ko lang kasi! Nyahaha! (add the fact that I'm currently having an 'issue' in my life and I don't want to cut my hair, hence, ngipin ang napagtripan). Haaaay. The things I do to...oh nevermind, this post is about my teeth and braces.

So there, to give you a proof that I have a "good" teeth and I don't really need braces, below is a vain picture of myself. Sorry namaaan. Haha! O diba? Won't you agree that I have a perfectly good upper teeth. But you see (well you can't see pala), my lower teeth are crooked. And so, I need braces... Pano na ang pangarap ko maging model or flight attendant pag panget ngipin ko? Models have perfectly good upper AND lower teeth, not just good upper teeth. LOL.

Anyway, it's great to have a dentist-friend. I had my braces at a "super friendly" price. Woot! And I have LOTS of dentist-friends! How cool is that? I won't have any problems in the future, I already have a family dentist. Yehey!

Meet my dentist Dra. Annie Padua.

Shocks. I'm not used to calling her doctora. It sounds pretty cool to my ears. What's funny is that I just call her "bru" (short for bruha) while people call her doctora. Isn't she pretty? She's studying orthodontics and I'm her first patient slash guinea pig. Haha! She's also a board topnotcher. I'm so proud and happy for her! Actually, I'm so proud and happy for all my blockmates who are now dentists. Makes me think if I haven't shifted to Statistics, I could have been one of them too. Dra. Patricia... Hmm, pwede!

This is my first picture after I got my braces. I look so awkwaaaaard and fugly. Yikes! Kasi naman walang tulog plus ilang days na umiiyak plus ang sakit sakit sakit sakiiiiit talaga. For the sake of "proper documentation", I let my dentist took this fugly picture of me. Haha! Yuuuuuuuuck.

Oh well. The procedure took more than 4 hours. I lost track of time and I almost feel asleep! Mygulay! Imagine yourself gaping that long. My cheeks, lips and mouth already got numb. It helped that my dentist is a good friend of mine. Hindi awkward yung matagal ka nakanganga. Hehe! Kakaaliw lang din na ang dami niyang assistants. Five dentists are looking at me (yun ang awkward haha) - may taga lagay

ng brackets, may taga abot siya ng materials, may isang may notebook taking down notes, may taga hawak ng pangsisip ng laway. Experiment na experiment talaga.

Doctora 1: Ang swerte mo Annie di masyadong malaway yung pasyente mo (referring to me)
Annie: Haha! oonga bru, buti di ka malaway (talking to me)

Doctora 1: Kung ako yan, mahihirapan yung maglalagay sakin ng braces. Sobrang malaway ako eh. Kaya di ako makakiss ng maayos eh

Annie: haha ayaw mo nun,well lubricated!

Bwahahaha! I can't help laughing! So mas okay ba kung malaway or not? Hahaha!

So, how does it feel to have braces? As I've said, it freaking hurts! On the day I got my braces, I can't even eat noodles! Ganon siya kasakit! I remember eating noodles for dinner and I can't chew it properly I almost got choked! Jusme. Kala ko katapusan ko na. I imagine myself dying because I got choked...with noodles! Very pathetic. Hahaha!

During the first two days, the only food that I can eat is soup - mushroom shoup, crab and corn soup, pumpkin soup, soup-as. Haha! Lahat na ata ng soup nakain ko na. I feel sad not being able to eat the food I want. I'm grumpy for a week because I'm always hungry. But then I realized that I should practice eating solid foods (one year ako nakabraces 'di pwedeng puro soup kakainin ko ng isang taon!). So I started eating pasta, chicken, pizza, sisig, chicharon (joke! wala pang chicharon,di ko pa kaya haha!) I have to allot one hour for my eating time. Ang bagal ko kasi ngumuya.

I'm now more conscious of my teeth. Before I only brush once a day, with braces, I brush twice a day na. Hurray! Joke lang. Haha seriously, I now brush everytime I eat, kahit na brownies lang kinain ko. You see, half of the food that goes to my mouth is stuck at those metals and it doesn't feel good. I feel like a chimpmunk. Laging may takeout na food. Haha! I also can't speak straight. Ang arte ko na magsalita. I thought before na nagiinarte lang magsalita yung mga may braces. But when I firsthand experienced it, I feel for them. I can't say "sixty six" and "Philippines" properly. So, pardon me if I'm more talkative these days (madaldal na before, sobrang mas madaldal pa ngayon haha!). I'm practising how to speak with these braces. I'm glad I still don't have mouth blisters. They say when you have braces, you are prone to having one.

Lookie, after two weeks of having this foreign object inside my mouth, here I am getting used to it. Sabi nila mukhang sosyal daw ako magsmile ngayon. Still, if given a choice, I'd prefer teeth without braces - mas natural. But then, ginusto ko rin naman to. Haha! Touch move!

:(

I'm so frustrated right now. and sad. and depressed. ooooh depressed is an understatement.

haaaaaaaaaay. :'(

why can't i just be mad at him instead?

Random Ramblings

I was never a blogger (well I try at times). I'm more of a blog reader. I was bored at work (Yikes! napaghahalatang walang ginagawa. harhar. not my fault actually, we've been experiencing network connection problems since last week. haha excused ako!). Back to what I'm saying, I was bored at work so I decided to random blog-hop! Nyahaha! I got some ideas on what to write about but when I start to write about something *poof* , my mind goes blank. Rar. Fail.

Anyway, yesterday, I was on leave. I met up with two of my barkada. We just chilled out at a coffee shop at Katipunan. Of course, I shared to them once again my failed love story. Tss. Emphasis on again. (Thank God they're my friends. Di talaga sila nagsasawa makinig :) ) After trying to hold back my tears (yes, I tried. and I failed), my friend told me: "Grabe Patch. Feeling ko, ang swerte mo sa magiging asawa mo. Kasi ganyan (fail) lovelife mo ngayon eh. So feeling ko, magiging blessed ka sa future" Waaaah. I just smiled and said "Hmm sana. Grabe naman kung hindi.."

We talked about marriage and career path. My gosh. Tumatanda na nga kami. "Mature talks" na lagi over a cup of coffee. The "talks" made me realize how I'm uninspired lately. Well, blame it on the "unfortunate/depressing" event that happened to me weeks ago. I don't want to elaborate on that one. Oh well.

So to keep me on track, finally, I've decided to attend a career talk/inspirational talk later. I'm excited for it! :) :) :) ---> fake smileys. I'm not really okay today. Pffft.

I shall blog more often. I've got plenty of spare time and this is way better than hanging out on his fb wall. Nyahaha!

anatomy of hair

My mom was watching "The Buzz" and I was in my room. I overheard KC talking about her new hairstyle. Apparently she just got her heart broken recently and she was now sporting a new 'do. Tito Boy asked her about her new hairstyle. She said that her hair have feelings blah blah. (I wasn't really paying attention). But I can soooo relate. Suddenly, I heard my mom said

"Parang si ate dati non no? Nung nagpagupit siya ng sobrang ikli"

Which made me think "f*ck. gusto ko na naman magpagupit"

I am super sad today. Magpakalbo na kaya ako? Hayyyyyyyyyyy. Ang sakit sa puso.

:)

Weekend overrrrr. I'm so happy I can't help smiling. :) I just want to put into writing that I had the BEST Friday for November so far. :) And I'll try (oh no here I go again haha!) to blog about it sooon. I'm so sleepy right now and I can't think. Nyahaha!

few thoughts:

* I don't like Facebook anymore. Strangers keep on adding me as a friend and I don't have any idea who they are! When I look at their walls, I sense that they are just new accounts. Sorry but I don't add strangers. :\

* Ang sarap maghohol. lol.

* I'm sleepy. And it's only 9pm.

On hangups and hangovers

It's been exactly a year ago, more or less, since I've become "officially single". Haha! I love the freedom and the "i-don't-care-and-no-one-will-care-if-I-party-all-night" perks that come with it. (But of course, I still do wish I have this someone special. Well, there's someone special, but I mean 'official someone special' Haha) Honestly? I've moved on. Definitely. Thanks to those who've been there for me during what I considered the lowest point of my 2010. I really don't know what to do if not for them. It's true that you'll find your true friends when you're really down and not when you're happy.

Hmmm... So what exactly did I do to move on? I'm not a love guru or a therapist or whatever. It took me almost 3 months before I've accepted the fact, almost 4 months before I regained my normal self and almost 8 months before I can honestly and sincerely say that I'm okay. I guess I should have applied the "3-month-rule" so I haven't wasted my time but oh well. Haha! Based on my experience, below are some things I did that help me forget, or at least lessen the pain I felt during that time. Swear. Healing a broken heart is not a joke. It really takes a LOT of effort on your part. And I believe that God helps those people who help themselves. So, I helped myself. Haha! How?

...I traveled

Whenever I had the chance, and especially the resources, I travel. I've never been into so many places before until now. I still got a lot of traveling to do and a lot of places to visit but hey, it's a start. Nothing beats the feeling of having to go to unfamiliar places. The best so far was when I went to China!!!

October 2010 - La Union with Gabby and Elvie

October 2010 - at Vigan

January 2011 - Laguna with Towers Watson peeps

March 2011 - Bird's Nest, Beijing China with Keith

March 2011 - at Great Wall of China

March 2011 - with Andrew and Keith at Beijing, China

May 2011 - Nuvali Laguna with May, Char and Arianne

July 2011 - Tagbilaran, Bohol with BMN

August 2011 - Boracay with Neri, Iyah and Ted

... I went out with friends

During the first few months after the heartbreak, I always go out with my friends. I make sure that my Fridays are occupied with random hangouts with them. I used to hate Fridays because I thought then that Fridays are equivalent to hanging out with your special someone, hence, Fridates. Thankfully, I have friends who I can call/text anytime for a rendezvous. I must thank them for keeping me sane during that time and putting up with my endless rants. I appreciate them so much for bearing with my "out-of-the-blue-I-suddenly-feel-sad" attitude. If I were them, I'd probably kill myself. Thank God I'm not them. Haha! Seriously, who would want to invite someone who suddenly cries unexpectedly? I'm such a kj before. Hahaha!

October 2010 - Tagaytay with Towers Watson peeps (so random I'm even wearing my office outfit haha)

November 2010 - Resortsworld with Stat peeps

November 2010 - with Keith, Vlad, Carlou at the Fort

December 2010 - surprise visit with Chariz and Arianne at Greenbelt1

December 2010 - Megamall with Alexis

February 2011 - BMN Dinner at Amici, Ayala Triangle

April 2011 - Sambokojin with Dent friends

April 2011 - overnight at Muntinlupa with HS friends

August 2011 - Robinsons' Galleria with Dave

October 2011 - BMN dinner at Bellini's Cubao

I'm sure there are lot more random lakads/gimiks I've made with my friends. I just don't bring my camera most of the time. Haha!

... I enrolled in a gym

Yep. That's right. I know it's weird because I'm not really fat. In fact I'm sooooo thin. But why did I enroll in the first place? Well, it's part of what you call "self improvement". LOL. I spent most of my spare time in the gym trying to look like I know what I'm doing. Haha! Sometimes, I join classes. And I realize, it's fun to do some belly dancing.

...I wrote down my feelings

but I didn't blog. I tried to limit my internet time because I have the tendency to stalk. Nyahaha. Hence, I wrote in my diary. I'm not a great writer though (the reason why I don't blog often). I just feel like putting my thoughts in a piece of paper hoping that after writing what I feel and after crushing that piece of paper (I know I know I'm insane haha), I'd be okay. Well, it helps, sometimes.

...I cried

No need to elaborate on that. Crying makes me feel better. There's something cathartic about having a good cry and "letting it all out". Plus, it is healthy. Okay, I look like I'm justifying my misery. Haha!

...I simply kept myself BUSY

In my attempt to keep my mind from thinking stupid things, I try my best to keep myself busy. I joined a club (Toastmasters club), joined our office cheerdance team and helped in our Kumon center. Apart from honing my "long-lost talents" (yehess kala mo meron), I gained new friends. It's pretty exciting actually because being the sociable that I am, I like meeting new people. I even considered enrolling for a yoga class! But well, after trying out yoga one time, I realized it's not for me. I'd die doing those stunts. Pfffft. Haha must learn how to be more flexible.

May 2011 - EWB Sportsfest

November 2011 - Toastmasters' Club Halloween Party

...I gave myself a makeover

The hair I've grown for two years...*poof* In a snap, they were all gone. I don't know what came into my mind during that time, but I just feel like chopping it off. Maybe because, my long hair holds memories (yeah he likes playing with my hair), or maybe because it's just a habit I do whenever I have "issues" with my lovelife (I do something with my hair when my lovelife's not so okay thus my curly and super short hair). I'm leaning towards the latter. Actually, I felt great after cutting my hair! It's the shortest hair I've sported in my life so far and it didn't hurt that I managed to carry it. But now, I want my looooong hair back. Haha! Okay, maybe I just have to wait few more months. Tsss.

from this loooong.. I cut it into this short.

Goodbye long hair :(

I also had my manicure and pedicure done, had some facial and all those girly things.

...I dated other people

I think this was the most stupid thing I did during my "healing period". Haha! I just dated anyone who asked me out. Some dates were great, some were boring and most of them, a failure. Not that I'm so choosy but then maybe because I was just not ready to open up my heart again during that time...so I appeared uninterested. Funny because one guy told me once "parang nabobore ka na sakin". Hahaha yeah. I found him boring. Sorry namaaaan.

...I prayed

Ahh the power of prayer. This is the time when I go to church just to..well..pass time. I talk to Him, cry to Him, well sometimes I yell at Him. Thank you Lord for healing me. :)

I'm sure there are a lot more things (sane and insane) that I did just to fix that broken heart. I'm glad I'm okay now. I've learned a lot from that experience and I'm sure the next time I'll fall inlove, it will be an awesome one. Haha Can't wait for that! I'm now ready to fall inlove again. ;)